Learning How Negativity Comes Full Circle
The older we get, the easier it is to look back and identify times when we didn’t act as cool as we thought we were. I can vividly remember being standoffish, rude, or flat-out hateful to that new kid at school, or a student that I took upon myself to judge for their physical appearance. Older and wiser, I know it stemmed from my own insecurities and, more importantly, had nothing to do with them. I was projecting my fears of not having quality peer relationships, my own body image concerns, all over them… and persecuting them for it. Not cool. What if I’d gotten to know them, rather than throwing all that shade? What if, twenty-five years later, they’d be my best friend, business partner, or life coach?
Fast forward a few years, to a different school. Slightly more mature, certainly more tolerant of others, I had a different outlook. Things were going well. My grades were up, I had friends, I was happy. Then, it seemed, that gross negativity I had put out into the world just a few short years earlier, had circled back around. This time, directed at me. Being called names for my weight, hated-on for my clothes and shoes, acne and any other reasons they could think of, I took it to heart, I let it affect me.
It’s often said that hurt-people hurt people.
While it can be difficult to remember in the moment, the things that people say with the intention of hurting you, don’t matter. What embarrassment or hostilities are those people facing that you don’t know about? What if all they need is someone in their life who listens or understands, but don’t know who or how to ask for it? What do you do when your negativity comes full-circle? Understand it. Understand that just like if you were nasty to someone who didn’t deserve it, you don’t deserve it now, it’s not about you. What can you do? I invite you to love them through it.