Time alone is essential for healing, self-discovery, and personal growth.
We are social animals. Our needs—to partner, gather, socialize, form families, cultivate friendships, and build teams and communities—are limitless. But we’re also solitary beings. We require time alone to ripen into our most honest, healthy, and whole selves.
The times we fly solo can feel lonely, even fearful. Yet these moments when we’re left with just ourselves often become the most illuminating, meaningful, and constructive experiences of our lives.
I was reminded of this recently while surrounded by icebergs drifting silently, the endless sky reflecting off glacial waters in Greenland. I allowed myself a rare gift: to do nothing but just be there without figuring out, fixing, doing, or editorializing. As I wrote in my journal that day: “Today was a time to discover everything while doing nothing.”
Of course, we don’t have to travel to the farthest corners of the Earth to find peace. Solitude can be as close as a walk around the block, a quiet cup of coffee, a few moments of stillness in your favorite chair, or a few gentle moments of reflection while listening to your favorite music. In these moments of intentional pause, we can reconnect with ourselves in the deepest, most honest, and profoundly important ways.
Here are a few ways to turn our alone time into a pathway for personal, professional, and spiritual growth:
- Give yourself permission to take some time by yourself. If you’re accustomed to constant company, this might feel uncomfortable. Courageously block out a few minutes, hours, or even a few days to simply be with yourself. Think of this as a vital form of self-care, clarity, and renewal to guide and inspire you on the path forward.
- Create a peaceful setting. Find a quiet, undisturbed space. Whether it’s a cozy spot at home, a stretch of beach or a shaded path in nature, or a weekend away from home, make time to settle in and listen to your own inner world without disturbance or distraction.
- Take time to breathe deeply, resist the desire to escape, and stay present. Our minds are constantly racing, full of distracting thoughts and “To Do’s” to complete. Take cleansing breaths and slow down. Let go of the inner and outer noise and allow yourself to be fully present with whatever arises.
- Listen to yourself inwardly. Give voice to the thoughts and feelings you may normally ignore or suppress. Let them rise up courageously, take shape, and be seen without judgment or denial. Allow the clarity that comes from simply and patiently listening.
- Gently silence the inner critic. Rather than rushing to fix or figure things out, or judge yourself for unplugging, give yourself permission to just be. Let silence, calm, and fresh perspectives come forward naturally. Allow yourself to be surprised by the wisdom that surfaces from within.
Time spent alone is not about isolating ourselves from the world but reconnecting to our inner world. I often talk about the importance of practicing self-care—not just the occasional spa day, but consistent, daily acts of kindness toward ourselves. Whether it’s setting healthy boundaries, moving your body, getting enough rest, or spending quiet time reflecting, these small decisions strengthen our ability to meet life with resilience.
Resilience, after all, isn’t just about bouncing back. It’s about growing stronger, wiser, and more compassionate as we meet life’s adversities, losses, changes, and challenges. Solitude can play a central role by giving us the space to process what we’ve been through, prioritize what really matters, summon the courage to go on, and clear the path forward.
In my work with clients going through some kind of adversity, I encourage them to take time alone to understand seemingly opposite truths, grieve what they have lost, embrace the opportunity side of change, and welcome life’s possibilities.
And it all begins by slowing down. By learning, as I was reminded in Greenland, to do nothing and discover everything. Not by striving, but by surrendering to the moment and trusting that good things will follow.
Wherever you are, give yourself permission to pause. To listen. To be still. Spend some time in your own company. Dare to discover a deeper, wiser, more peaceful version of yourself. And move forward with patience and self-compassion on the path to your best possible future.
This article was published on Psychology Today. Content may be edited for style and length.
