If you’re being bullied, the most urgent question facing you is, “How can I make the bullying stop?”

You may think it would be great if we could simply tell our parents, teachers or friends that we’re being bullied, and they could make it stop. But we cannot always rely on other people to make our challenges disappear, it wouldn’t teach us any independence, either. Even if they do succeed, we will eventually be treated unfairly in other places and by other people. It’s always best to learn how to handle adversity on our own.

Learning to be resilient (or emotionally strong) is the secret to stopping the negative effects of bullying, all by ourselves. People may still try to pick on us once in a while, but when we are resilient, their words or actions will bounce off us and we come out looking and feeling like winners.

Never underestimate the power of the Golden Rule. This rule tells us to treat others the way we would like to be treated, not to do to them what we dislike others doing to us. The Golden Rule essentially means we are to treat everyone like a friend, even when they fail to do the same.

You may think that this rule sounds wimpy, as though it is telling us to be doormats. But you will discover the rule actually makes you stronger. It gives you control over your actions, reactions, and encourages others to act friendlier.

And the really nice thing is, following the Golden Rule is easier than what you’re probably doing now!

If you’re experiencing bullying, you need to answer this question: “Why do people keep doing things to try to upset me?” The answer to this question is surprisingly simple.

When someone is repeatedly being mean to you, you get upset. And why do you get upset? Because you don’t like what they’re doing and want them to stop.

But guess what? The reason many people will be pick on you is because they enjoy watching you get upset. The more you get upset, the meaner they become. The meaner they become, the more you get upset. And round and round it goes.

When people are mistreating you, they’re trying to hurt your feelings, and if they can achieve that goal, they feel powerful and they make you look and feel less-than. They want power over you–the power to drive you crazy.

So how do you get them to stop? Simple. Don’t give them the power to upset you. 

You may think this is easier said than done, but it really isn’t all that hard. In fact, getting upset is harder work than staying calm.

You may wonder how you can stop yourself from getting upset. It sounds hard, but that’s because we’ve been tricked into believing that other people make us upset. In fact, we make ourselves upset; it just doesn’t feel that way. You will stop feeling bullied when you learn how to control your emotions and refuse to give toxic people the satisfaction of upsetting you.

This is what being resilient is about. Resilient people are masters of their feelings. They refuse to give people the power to upset them!

Remember—we’re talking about verbal bullying, not criminal behavior, like assault, for which people need to be punished.

We are talking about everyday meanness, if we want to stay happy, we must learn to #BeStrong.

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